The High Risk of the Ukraine
February 26, 2014
Up until recently, what I knew about Ukraine was that it was the
breadbasket of Eastern Europe, that it was the site of the Chernobyl
nuclear disaster of 1986, and that it was an uncontrollable location in
the game of Risk.
Ukraine is the largest European country, other than the European part
of Russia. Ukraine, which means Borderland, has rarely been
independent, more often it has been controlled by Russia or Poland or
Germany or the Ottoman Empire or ...
The news says the protesters have won in Ukraine. The news can be
idiotic that way. The battle for the country doesn't end. It's a fine
On one hand, Ukraine has a northwestern half (speaking Ukrainian)
and a southeastern half (speaking Russian). Ukrainians have their work
cut out to keep their country together yet democratic.
On the other hand, Ukraine owes Russia a great deal of money. Russia
doesn't want a war-torn Ukraine. Russia also doesn't want a European
Union looking Ukraine. Russia would like Ukraine to go back to being good ol' Ukraine,
Russia's pal. Russia's Black Sea Fleet is located in Ukraine
(Sevastopol). And Ukraine has the largest army in Europe, except for
the Russian army. Russia has a tricky situation.
So Putin's answer is to order a surprise military exercise on Ukraine's doorstep. Hang on while I check which part of Ukraine is the doorstep. (hmm, blah, blah, blah...)
Ah yes, the northeastern border of Ukraine is the doorstep. That's why
the Russians picked the doorstep instead of the backyard (the southeast
border). Exercises in the backyard might scare the Russian-Ukrainians
into becoming just Ukrainians.
I hope the Ukrainians know what to do. And I hope the Russians know what they're doing.
Music Association: The Beatles - Revolution
If You Like Bill Murray...
February 24, 2014
If you like Bill Murray, then you've got to love Harold Ramis, who died today at age 69.
Harold Ramis was the co-writer of Stripes and acted alongside Bill Murray.
Harold Ramis was the director, producer, and bit-part actor in Groundhog's Day.
Harold Ramis was the co-writer and director of Caddyshack.
And he co-wrote and starred with Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd in Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters 2.
But he may not star in Ghostbusters 3.
Music Association: Kenny Loggins - I'm Alright
Harold Ramis (1944-2014)
Heart Health ♥
February 14, 2014
Last year at this time,
we listed off some of the worst foods for your heart... like a steak
dinner with gobs of butter and salt and alfredo sauce over
something fried, washing it down with a Diet Coke.
We're not going to do that again.
This year, we list the top heart healthy foods. Here they are:
1. Oatmeal -- glop, mush -- best slopped into a bowl with a big ladle by some giant hairy beast.
2. Salmon -- tastes great, but then I've never tried it on oatmeal.
3. Black or Kidney Beans -- wow, this meal is sounding better and better. Let go of my legumes!
4. Nuts -- it would be bonkers not to add walnuts or almonds to this mixture.
5. Avocado -- here's
where I have to hit the brakes. Avocado is great with salmon and
great with beans, but keep it away from the oatmeal and the nuts.
That's just not right.
6. Olive oil -- mix up some refried beans with olive oil and kidney beans (spiced up with cumin, chile powder, and garlic)
7. Berries -- this has
gotta stop. Blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, and
cherries are all great. Plenty of people ruin them by putting them in
oatmeal. Not me, uh-huh, no way. Mixing them with any of the rest of
this glop? Forget it.
8. Red wine -- now you're trying to get me drunk. Aren't you?
9. Spinach -- Nuttin' is gonna keep me from my goil, Olive Oyl.
10. Flaxseed -- you read my mind. That's exactly what I wanted to top off this meal, a sprinkling of flaxseed.
Music Association: Kiss - Eat Your Heart Out
The Day We Fight Back
February 11, 2014
Today this page did not turn black to honor the passing of Shirley
Temple Black (1928-2014) but to complain about the NSA domestic spying
overreach. A broad coalition of activist groups, companies, and online
platforms held a worldwide day of activism in opposition to the
Music Association: ACDC - Back in Black
February 3, 2014
Let's agree to mention last night's Super Bowl Superb Owl today and then never again. Here's how it should be mentioned.
How are you?
I'm feeling like I'm coming down with the Broncos.
How was that report?
It was perfectly Seahawkish. It couldn't have been more Seahawked.
Did you read the emails?
Yes, but they were as forgettable as last night's commercials.
How's the weather?
I like it as much as PETA likes Joe Namath.
Music Association: Elvis - One-Sided Love