Just So Story
Why The Internet Is Called The Web
June 11, 2013

A great long time ago, the Internet didn't exist. Weird, huh?

Everyone went about their business without understanding what they were missing. Walking, talking, flying, driving... all without an Internet.

Even when the first filament of the Internet was cast, people couldn't see it, and if they did, there wasn't much to see.

But soon people ran into it, more and more. It caught the light.



Then people got stuck on it and it on them.

Parts tore away and were forgotten. Geocities anyone?

Soon the Internet was everywhere... part of life, work, and play. People couldn't talk without bringing the Internet into the conversation.

Maybe it was just like when money was invented. Before money, you traded things. Trade this for that? OK. No one talked about money before money was invented. But once it was invented, you suddenly couldn't have a conversation without someone bringing up the stuff. Money money money. Currency was current. Everyone had an interest.

The Internet spread out. It was everywhere in 2D. It replaced many information, business, and media connections, and everything was fine.

Until cats entered the picture.

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Music Association: Huey Lewis - Stuck With You









Just So Ode
I'm Positive I Don't Know
June 10, 2013

At the players' entrance to Wimbledon's center court, two lines are posted from the Rudyard Kipling poem, If...


An edited version of If... was read at a recent graduation (fitting neatly with my posts of last week), and yet I wonder about the message of confidence and stoic determination.

In today's Googled world, people easily suffer from over-confidence.

I was recently smacked upside the head with the latest issue of Psychological Science, -ow- containing an article titled,“A Behavioral Demonstration of Overconfidence in Judgment.”

Some lab coat wearing researchers at the University of Pennsylvania (Albert Mannes) and UC-Berkeley (Don Moore) are studying overconfidence in beliefs and the underestimating of the unknown.  With hands in their lab coat pockets, the researchers warn about the dangers of overconfidence.

Life requires humor and laughter, screaming and crying, and listening -- lots of listening. The listening is the most important. Overconfidence plugs the ears. Wisdom isn't spoken; it's heard. Wisdom can come flying in from the oddest of places.

On the TV show The Honeymooners, Ed Norton was an underground engineer, sometimes a “sub-supervisor in the sub-division of the department of sub-terranean sanitation.” He worked in the sewer. The 1956 episode The Safety Award, written by Leonard Stern and Sydney Zelinka, had the following gem of wisdom delivered by Norton (played by Art Carney) to Ralph:


That could be on the wall at Wimbledon too.

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Music Associations: Styx - Borrowed Time  "the more I learn, well, the less that I know"
           Kansas - Carry On Wayward Son  "and if I claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that I don't know"
           Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven "there's still time to change the road you're on"








Just So Story
How the U.S. Defense Got Obese
June 7, 2013

Yesterday was the 70th anniversary of D-Day, the start of the end to World War II.

The United States never really ended that war.

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Music Association: Blondie - The Tide Is High








Just So Stories
Why Humans Walked Upright
June 6, 2013

Once upon a time, when the Earth was new and humans were not yet upright, the animals took pity on the humans.

The Sheep came to see the humans and said, “You are bare. You will freeze. Take this coat. Use it to keep warm.”

The Turtle came to see the humans and said, “You are without shelter. You will catch pneumonia. Take this tent. Use it to keep dry.”

The Bear came to see the humans and said, “You have nothing to catch fish. Here is a spear. Use it to catch fish.”

The Kangaroo came to see the humans and said, “You have nothing to carry your cargo in. Here is a basket so that you may keep things close to you.”

The Snake came to see the humans and said, “You have no way to tie things. Take this rope. Use it to tie things.”

The Woodchuck came to see the humans and said, “You have no way to cut wood. Take this saw. Use it to cut wood.”

The Mole came to see the humans and said, “You have no way to dig. Take this shovel. Use it to dig.”

The Beaver came to see the humans with a saw. Seeing the humans already had a saw, the Beaver left without a word.

The Giraffe came to see the humans and said, “You are not tall as I. You will starve. Take this ratcheting ladder. Use it to gather fruit from the trees.”

The Lion came to see the humans and said, “You have no way to kill prey. Take this Remington Model 700 bolt-action hunting rifle. Use it to kill prey.”

The humans stood on their hind legs to carry all that they'd been given. They put everything in the basket, tied it with rope to the ladder, and carried the ladder. They used the gifts to change the face of the Earth.




Everyone who walks upright please stand up.

As you can see a great many people walk upright. Oodles of theories abound for the reason. Many lab-coat-wearing theorists, like Dr. Isabelle Winder of York, believe terrain has something to do with it. And that's nonsense.

Picture apes on the ground. Picture apes in trees. Picture apes on rocky slopes. Apes have no reason to walk upright in any of those situations.

Now give the ape something to carry... and then something else... and something else... and a smartphone...

Suddenly the ape is upright and texting.

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Music Association: U2 - Evolution


















Just Sew Story
How Doctors and Researchers Got White Lab Coats
June 5, 2013

Once upon a time, doctoring wasn't all that it is quacked up to be today.

The local doctor was someone good with a knife, who was also the butcher, the barber, or the mortician. The doctor's job was to confirm the obvious. “Yep, they are sick. And (also yep) they are going to die.”

A doctor was someone you didn't want to see, like an angel of death. A doctor's visit was a somber occasion.


They dressed in black coats for several reasons:
      ►  Distinguish the serious-working doctor from the after-hours friendly run-of-the-mill guy
      ►  Protect the everyday clothes
      ►  Hide the large amounts of blood

When scientists started looking at stuff under a microscope, they became (grossed out and) very aware of germs and hygiene. Instead of hiding blood stains they cleaned blood stains.  Bleach became a valuable tool for scientists and doctors. Patients survived more. Hospitals became places of hope, instead of places of hospice.

But bleach would turn black lab coats to beige.

The answer was white lab coats. And doctorates in pomposity.

The white lab coat says, “I will solve all your problems.” and “I'm clean.” However too often the lab coat is on its own in that opinion.

In 2009, The American Medical Association voted on a resolution to ban white lab coats. (They're still studying it.)

The rational is that some people are intimidated by doctors in lab coats. “There’s been a trend toward taking the coats off in the last 20 years because they were felt to be intimidating,” according to Dr. Guenter Risse, professor at UCSF and the University of Washington.

There is a related disease -- White Coat Hypertension -- for people whose high blood pressure gets higher when they see a doctor. (They would be through the roof at an AMA convention.)

In 2007, the British National Health Service (NHS) banned lab coats.

The Mayo Clinic prefers business attire instead of  white lab coats.

And several studies have found the clean, white lab coats to (still) harbor germs:
►  Microbial flora on doctors' white coats (1991)
►  Bacterial flora on the white coats of medical students (2000)
►  Bacterial contamination of health care workers' white coats (2009)
►  Newly cleaned physician uniforms and infrequently washed white coats have similar rates of bacterial contamination after an 8-hour workday (2011)
►  White coats as a vehicle for bacterial dissemination (2012)

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Music Associations: Johnny Cash - Man In Black & Johnny Cash - Man In White







Just So Stories
How The Turtle Got Its Shell
June 4, 2013

Ashanti are a people of central Guana and nearby parts of Togo and Ivory Coast. In the Ashanti language, Twi, they tell a story like this.

When Nyame the Sky God's mother Ngula died, he wanted her funeral to be one that would reflect the status of their family. He knew that the great drum of Osebo the Leopard would make the ceremony truly regal. The drum was large and spotted and powerful. Osebo would not willingly give up his great drum. Nyame deliberated for a long time, but he could not imagine a way to get the drum.

Nyame convened a meeting of all the animals and announced that he needed the great drum of Osebo for his mother's funeral. The animals cowered at the thought of challenging Osebo. Finally, Elephant said he would try to get the drum, but he failed. Then Lion tried and failed. Antelope, Crocodile, and Bear could not get the drum either. When Achi-cheri the Turtle said, “I will get the drum,” the other animals laughed hysterically. Achi-cheri the Turtle had a soft back, and moved as slowly as turtles do today. Yet he was not at all apprehensive about the challenge.

Moving very slowly, Turtle finally arrived at Leopard's home. Osebo called out, “Have you come to try to steal my drum, too?”

“No,” said Achi-cheri, “but all this talk of drums has piqued my curiosity. I wish to see just how great your drum is.” When Osebo showed Turtle his drum, Turtle conceded that it was a great drum. Then he said, “But Hopidea's drum is larger. It is so large he can crawl inside it.”

Osebo roared and objected in a ferocious voice, claiming that his drum was certainly as large. To prove it, Osebo climbed inside. Once Osebo was inside the drum, Achi-cheri plugged its opening. He then tied the drum to his back and slowly dragged it back to Nyame. The animals were flabbergasted at Turtle's success.

Achi-cheri the Turtle presented the drum to Nyame with Osebo inside it. In exchange for his freedom, Osebo offered the drum to Nyame as a gift. As he hurried away, Osebo stumbled into the Sky God's fire and scorched himself in many places, leaving dark spots on his hide. As a reward, Nyame offered Turtle anything he desired. Fearing Osebo's revenge, Turtle asked for a defensive shield to protect his back. And to this day, the turtle can be spotted with a hard protective shell on its back.

Nyame the Sky God saw the turtle go.

Nyame's right eye was the sun, his left eye was the moon, and this was one of those rare moments that he opened both his eyes. He saw his children fighting over Achi-cheri. Tano, river animal god, and Bia, land animal god, both wanted the gifted turtle in their domain. Cyclones whirled over land and water until Nyame stopped the battle. As the dust and rain dropped, the spinning had left everyone seeing double. There were now two Achi-cheri's. Achi was claimed by Bia and would spend all his time as a tortoise of the land. Tano claimed Cheri, who became the turtle of the river.




Labcoaters are a people of research universities, journals, and similar institutions. In the Labcoati language, a story has been told of how turtles got their shells.

Long ago Turtles had no shells, or should we say, they weren't Turtles.

The Turtle shell was a transformation of ribs and vertebrae fused together, unlike the shells of other animals, such as the Armadillo, whose shell dermally-developed from osteoderms (ossified scales).

Turtle fossils from 210 million years have fully developed shells.

From 220 million years ago, the Odontochelys semitestac in China had an incomplete top shell.

Eunotosaurus, the 260 million year old from South Africa, looked less turtle-like with well-defined pairs of T-shaped ribs and no broad spines on its vertebrae.

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Music Association: Heart - Shell Shock








Just So Story
How The Dalmatian Got Its Spots
June 3, 2013

It was late one night of too many bars and too many dares for the pack of dogs.

The pack that was on the city sidewalk after last call was made of the finest dogs.  At least they were the finest when they were sober.

The friendly Golden Retriever was there smiling and shining. The fluffy Alaskan Husky was cuddly and warm and ready to haul tail. The scrappy Bull Terrier with the patch over its eye was ready to pick a fight. And the depressed all-white Dalmatian was there... sad that he had never been to a fire... never had a singe on him to show a brush with danger.

The Golden Retriever said to the Dalmatian, “It's okay, Spot. Cheer up. You'll get your spots soon enough.”

The Alaskan Husky said, “C'mon dogs. We've got places to see. We've got to do stuff.”

The Bull Terrier was ahead looking in a window and called out, “Hey pooches! Look! A 24-hour self-service tattoo parlor!”

Now you might be saying, hey Hopes and Dreams, there is no such thing as a self-service tattoo parlor. To which I reply, well yeah, not any more, and if you keep reading you will find out why.

The Alaskan Husky said, “Yeah, great. Let's keep going.”

The Bull Terrier said, “You don't understand. We can mark Spot up.”

The Golden Retriever said to Bull, “Spot loves his mother. He doesn't need a mother tattoo reminder.”

The Bull Terrier said, “We can mark Spot up like he's been in a fire.”

The Dalmatian said, “I couldn't do that.”

The Bull Terrier said, “You don't have to. I'll tattoo you.”

The dogs packed in the self-service tattoo shop.

Spot said, “Ow. Ow. Ow! Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” Spot's howling could be heard far and wide. Other dogs, woken by Spot's howling, imitated the howls in sympathy. A crowd of dogs and people, woken by the commotion, peered into the self-service tattoo parlor.

This is what they saw.







A that is how the Dalmatian (Spot) got his spots.

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Music Association: Elvis - Hound Dog

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