Christmas
Music
TIL Gloria Lyrics
December 24, 2013
I just learned the words of the greater Doxology are not Glo-
Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho
Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho
Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho Ria on Excelsior
Boulevard.
Now I know.
Music Association: Gloria in
Excelsis Deo
Angels We Have Heard
Online
Be Of Good Christmas Humor
December 23, 2013
What do you call a kitten on the beach? Sandy claws.
“The main reason Santa is so
jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
- George Carlin
“One of the
most glorious
messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas
day. Don't clean it up too quickly." - Andy Rooney
“In
the old days, it was
not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and
went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue;
the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on
the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the
atheists) 'Look out for the wall!”
- Dave Barry
Christmas ducks?
Those aren't Christmas ducks. They
sure aren't Santa.
Music Association: Porky Pig -
Blue Christmas
Super Star Holiday Light Show
December 20, 2013
This holiday season, I have seen Christmas plays and Christmas shows
both live and on video. What I've seen has been spectacular.
And Monday's
ruling by United States district court Judge Richard J. Leon
that the sweeping NSA collection of phone metadata constitutes an
unreasonable search or seizure under the Fourth Amendment of
the Constitution was also spectacular. (The FISA courts “hang a cloak of secrecy over the
Constitution,”
Leon wrote. “Almost Orwellian technology,”
he wrote. “I
cannot imagine a more ‘indiscriminate’ and
‘arbitrary
invasion’ than this systematic and high-tech collection and
retention of personal data on virtually every single citizen for
purposes of querying it and analyzing it without judicial approval,”
he wrote. )
But lab coat wearing researchers have presented something that they
consider almost as stellar as these holiday spectaculars.
They pointed the Hubble telescope at RS Puppis, a southern
hemisphere pulsating star 200 times as massive as our sun.
“Isn't it pretty?”
the researchers ask in a Lucy Van Pelt voice.
What is it?
“Oh, that's right, you're from
Minnesota. This is a southern (drawl, when you say
'southern') star RS
Puppis. Look how pretty it is cloaked in its swirling nebular mists.”
Um, yeah, that is pretty.
RS Puppis (see the big
picture)
Music Association: Lenny Kravitz
- Fly Away
“I
want to get away. I want to fly away. Yeah yeah yeah. Let's go and see
the stars, the Milky Way or even Mars, where they could just be ours,
let's fade into the sun.”
Music Association: Sonic
Youth or Carpenters - Superstar
“Long ago and oh so far away, I
fell in love with you before the second show.”
Nelson Mandela 1918-2013
Miss
December 5, 2013
I must be sick. And I don't mean physically sick,
because yesterday I looked at the snow and thought, “I missed this.”
I don't know how to take me. I could've been sarcastic, but I wasn't
holding my Sign of
Sarcasm.
When I said “missed” I probably didn't mean...
missed
verb
/'mis/ 2To notice the loss or absence.
I probably meant...
missed verb /'mis/
1To fail to reach, hit, or contact.
As in: “Cool, the snow missed Minnesota. It
hit all points south.”
That must be what I meant. I wasn't sick after all. Sometimes we just have to
sit down like this and figure me out.
Last night there was still some snow falling, so this morning I
said, “I'll check on the Snow
News, and hopefully Snow News will be good news.”
Okay, maybe I am sick after all.
Music Association: Dean Martin -
Let It Snow
For the record,
Dean was drunk when he said that.
