Short Sketches
The Cartoon President
November 24, 2020
President
Trump gave a short press conference today, bragging for a minute about
the Dow Jones surpassing 30,000 points and then leaving before
answering any questions. You know, questions like what he will do about
the pandemic.
Nothing. He will continue to come up short.
Editorial cartoonist Michael de Adder
draws a stumpy President Trump. President Stumpy. His most famous
cartoon was of President Stumpy pulling his golf cart up to two drowned
bodies and asks, “Do you mind if I play through?” The drowned bodies were of
father Óscar Alberto Martínez Ramírez and daughter
Angie Valeria, who died crossing the Rio Grande from Mexico to Texas in
June 2019. The widely re-tweeted cartoon got de Adder fired from a
Canadian newspaper group.
A recent de Adder cartoon depicts Rudy
Giuliani, Moscow Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, and the Trump boys
following their own tracks around a tree and saying, “We're close to finding who has been trying to steal the election.”
The art and the message capture the post-election shenanigans of the
Trumpettes. They lost but put on a circus act to try to steal the
election. They should put on their big boy pants and get to work saving
lives from the pandemic.
Another recent de Adder cartoon depicts President Stumpy and has the boy from The Sixth Sense telling Bruce Willis, “I see losers. But they don't know they are losers.”
Donald Trump doesn't know what everyone else knows.
He
thinks he is 6'3" and is willing to wear lifts, high heels, coiffed
hair, big suits, long ties, and stumble down ramps to prove how tall he
really is, which is 5'9".
Donald Trump's height is five foot, nine inches. He's not tall, and he's not short. He's average. He doesn't have small hands. Trump has normal hands for a 5'9" man. And he has 20% vacancy in his shoes.
Trump's
malignant narcissism prevents him from being an outstanding leader
regardless of his stature, but it is not too late to save lives.
Here
are some simple messages to save lives: wear masks and stay home
when possible. Hospitals are running out of health care workers and
beds. If you think they will magically have a bed and health
professionals to take care of you, you are mistaken. Stay home for you,
for them, and for everyone you rely on.
Music Association: Beyoncé - Rise Up
Biden Elected President
November 7, 2020
Joe Biden has been elected 46th President of the United States. Now is the time of consensus, time for unity.
Not
that the entire country will come together. No. Not yet anyway. I'm
talking about how the AP, CNN, and NPR say the electoral college votes
for Joe Biden are over 270. ABC and NBC say he has 273 electoral votes.
The New York Times says 279, and Politico says 290.
Anyone who talks about the media as if it's one voice doesn't read.
I quantify my qualifying of things, so I look for a consistency of numbers.
I can wait.
Music Association: Jimi Hendrix - Hey Joe
The Wait
November 6, 2020
It's late. The ballot counters in Georgia and Nevada have gone home or at least have stopped reporting their counts.
In
Pennsylvania, the counts go on. Early today, Trump was up by 18,042 and
then Biden was up by 6,831. Then 12,497. Then mid-day, Biden was up by
13,720. Then 15,003. Then at about 10pm EST, Biden was up by 21,749. An
hour later, Biden was up by 28,877, with 99% of the ballots counted.
In
Georgia, the day started with Biden up by 917, practically a tie. Then
Biden was up by 1,579. Then down a few to 1,564. Then up again to
1,586. Then Biden was up to 4,155. Then down to 4,020. And that's where
they stopped for the night.
In Nevada, the day started with
Biden up by 11,400 votes. Then 11,438. Then 19,427. Then 20,137. And
then the counting stopped for the night with Biden ahead by 22,657
votes.
The main page of Politico has kept the tallies moving.
Both
candidates, Biden and Trump, have more votes this month than any
other candidates in the history of American voting. Biden has more
votes nationwide than Trump. Biden will probably end up with 306
electoral votes (Arizona, Georgia, Nevada, and Pennsylvania) with
a theoretical shot at North Carolina's 15 electoral votes also (306 + 15 = 321).
I'm doing the math so you don't have to.
Music Association: The Beatles - Wait
If You Haven't Voted Already
Please Go Vote
November 3, 2020
Today
is Election Day, so if you haven't voted already and you are eligible
to vote, please go to your polling location to vote or drop off your
ballot (just not in the mail).
Then wait. While you are waiting, I'll tell you a story.
Once
upon a time there was an impatient man who had a question no one could
answer. He asked google and alexa and everyone he knew, but nobody knew
the answer. It was suggested that he speak to a great guru who lived on
a great mountain and knew all things.
The impatient man put on
a washable fabric mask with a filter pocket and flew halfway around the
world to the great mountain. He climbed, and he climbed, and he
climbed. As he climbed, he became angrier and more impatient and
more alone with his thoughts. His anger and impatience caused him to
slip and scrape himself on the rocks, making him more angry. The clouds
closed in around him. Climbing some damp, mossy rocks in the mist, he
hoisted himself up to a clearing where a thin figure in a gray robe sat
with crossed legs in front of a cave. He caught his breath, approached
the woman, and said, “That was some climb.”
The guru responded, “I'll be with you in a minute.” The guru turned to a dog, sitting nearby, and said, “The bone is not the reward. Digging for the bone is the reward.” The dog barked, brushed by the impatient man, and left. “Now, what do you seek?”
“I want to know who will win the election,” the impatient man said.
The guru replied, “What? Win your what? I can't understand you through your mask.” After he loudly repeated himself, she said, “Oh, I thought you said — well never mind what I thought you said. What election are you talking about. There are so many.”
The impatient man said, “The
election. 2020. President of the United States. I want to know who will
be elected President of the United States this year, 2020. Please.”
“Hmmm,” she said, “I'm afraid I can't help you. I specialize in the metaphysical, you know, the meaning of life and all that jazz. You need to see the next guru up.”
“The what now?”
The guru repeated, “You
need to see the next guru up. Take the stairs here to the left, the
rope ladder, and then the middle foot holds, not the metal posts on the
left or the right. The
toe holds you want are not reinforced and there are at least 270 of
them, maybe more. Use the vine, but it's fragile. If you break it, you
won't have a way down. It took four years to grow the last time it
broke. The rope ladder is not uniform in any way. It has 50 rungs of
various sizes and strengths. Some are just empty space. And if you see
a fox, don't listen to it.”The
impatient man climbed the stairs, the rope ladder, and the middle foot
holds with a thin vine on an icy vertical cliff. A fox and other beasts
gave caste advice which he tuned out. The snow crunched under his boots
as he stepped into a clearing in the clouds. There a guru in a big coat
sat with crossed legs and spoke to someone in overalls and a tool belt.
The guru asked, “Did you try jiggling the handle?” The plumber left. The guru sang up and down chanting syllables like music note boats in choppy waters.
Oh most ex`cellent presi`dent
your `bumptiousness never ends
until the bal`lots are all in
The guru turned to the impatient man, who asked, “Who will be elected President of the United States in 2020?”
“Hmmm,” he said, “I'm afraid I can't help you. I specialize in the practical, you know, how to rewire a dwelling or a vehicle. You need to see the next guru up.”
“The next guru up?”
“Right.
And another right. Straight up, until there is no more up. Shimmy left
and left and right left right. Then straight up again. When you think
you can't take any more, go a little further and there you will be,” he said.
The impatient man turned right and muttered, “I hate 2020.”
The guru said, “Stop. My right not your right. Start over there.”
The
impatient man followed the second guru's instructions. At the part
about going a little more, there wasn't any more to go, he slipped and
slid down a spiraling slide... hundreds, maybe thousands of feet
down... sometimes spinning, then slowing, and landing at the feet of
another guru.
The furiously impatient man said, “I want to know who will be elected President of the United States in 2020!”
The guru replied, “No you don't.”
“I do,” he said.
“You don't,” the guru replied. “You
want to wake up to a country that sees what you see and believes what
you believe. You want a country where you have a say. You want to be in
control. But only right now are you in control. Here. Away from your
country. Where you can climb a mountain to find an answer. To control
the answer. But that's not how it works. Your country has big-climb problems that need long-term fixes and long-term patience. November 3 is election day, but that doesn't tell you who was elected. Poles close. Counts. Court cases. Recounts. Protests. December
14 is the date that state electors meet to cast their ballots for
president. On January 3, Congress is seated. On January 6, the House
and Senate meet jointly for a formal count of the electoral vote. On
January 20, a president is inaugurated. But that's no guarantee. There
is a long and winding road ahead of you and your country.”
Music Association: Blondie - One Way Or Another
Minnesota is Special
Vote By Mail Deadline
October 30, 2020
The two presidential candidates, Joe Biden and Donald Trump, will be stopping by Minnesota today, a state with a new vote by mail deadline.
A federal court of appeals ruled yesterday that mailed-in ballots in Minnesota must be received by election officials no later than Election Day, Tuesday, November 3rd, pandemic be damned.
Justices
of the courts apply law and previous rulings to the facts and unique
circumstances of a case. The court of appeals failed to adequately
account for the sabotage of the postal system by Postmaster General Louis DeJoy and the Covid-19 pandemic.
On Wednesday, Pennsylvania was allowed to accept mailed ballots three days after Election Day and North Carolina has six days to accept mailed ballots after Election Day, through actions and inactions by the U.S. Supreme Court.
Voting in Minnesota
✘ Voters who have already put their ballot in the mail can track their ballot at http://www.mnvotes.org/track.
If their ballot has not yet been received the voter can vote in-person
either by absentee, or at their polling place on Election Day.
✘ Voters can deliver their ballots to their county election office by hand (or have someone they trust hand-deliver it for them).
✘ Voters can cast their vote in person with an absentee ballot at their local election office up until November 2, 2020.
✘ Voters can cast their votes in person on Election Day (7am - 8pm). Use the Minnesota Pollfinder Tool to find out where to vote.
✘ You do not need to be previously registered to vote. If you are eligible to vote,
you can register when you vote early at an early vote location or at
your polling place on Election Day, November 3rd (7am-8pm). To
register, bring an ID with a current name and address (Minnesota
driver's license, learner's permit, or ID; or a receipt for any of
those; or a Tribal ID with name, address, photo, and signature) or a
photo ID and an approved document with current name and address (such as a bill or a lease). If those documents are not available, there are a few other ways of registering to vote.
The attack on the U.S. mail during the pandemic is an attack on democracy.
Voters shouldn't have to jump through flaming hoops to vote.
Music Association: Van Halen - Jump
Why We Vote
224,000+ Dead
October 25, 2020
The
Lincoln Project put up a pair of billboards in Times Square calling out
the Covid19 responses of Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner of the Trump
White House. Ivanka Trump presents the Covid19 deaths at that time
(33,366+ New Yorkers and 221,247+ Americans). Jared Kushner says that
New Yorkers “are going to suffer and that's their problem.”
The Washington Post interviewed a Trump voter from Wisconsin who said, “They accused him of doing nothing. I don’t know how he could have done more,” she said. “Hindsight is 20/20. Who knew it was going to be such a big deal?”
Trump
knew. In January, Trump was repeatedly told of the novel Coronavirus
(Covid19), including a January 29 memo produced by his trade adviser,
Peter Navarro, laying out in striking detail the potential risks of a
Coronavirus pandemic with as many as half a million deaths and trillions
of dollars in economic losses. His Covid19 plan has been denial, lies,
playing golf, and ten months of refusing to wear a mask. His plan has
been no plan.
It's tough to understand Trump voters.
It's really tough to understand Trump voters.
Music Association: Beach Boys - God Only Knows
Language Lesson
Voting Blizzard
October 20, 2020
It's snowing today. It's early to have a shovel-able amount of snow in Minnesota. Early snows are thick and wet.
We interrupt this weather report to bring you a language lesson.
The Dakota word for vote is: WOWAPI IYOHPEYA
The Ojibwe word for vote is: AAZHIDEBII `IGE
The Norwegian word for vote is: STEMME
The Spanish word for vote is: VOTA
The Hmong word for vote is: POV NTAWV
The Somali word for vote is: CODEE
Now
back to the weather report. Minnesota talks about the infamous
Halloween blizzard of 1991 as a shared disaster for those around at the
time. Green, red, and yellow-gold maple leaves were still on trees,
lawns, and filling road gutters.
The rain started as a heavy
afternoon downpour -- a monsoon rain -- unfamiliar in the
upper Midwest. Our storm drains do not have monsoon capacity, and
the leaves helped clog the drains. After the roads flooded by
dusk, the freezing rain hit, followed by several feet of blowing,
drifting, gluishly sticky snow (28.4"). The ground never froze. The upper water
on the roads became several inches of a weak Styrofoam-like ice-snow,
covered with snow. Plows couldn't plow the roads. They sunk and
couldn't free themselves. Heavier vehicles became stuck while lighter
vehicles skated by, somewhat. Tree branches knocked down power lines,
and utility vehicles couldn't get to the downed lines.
Oh and the winds blew the snow horizontally, aiming for the eyes, no matter which way you faced.
It was hell-frozen-over but nothing compared to the pile on of 2020 disasters.
Music Association: Molly Hatchet - Flirtin' With Disaster
Slow Fall
So Fly
October 10, 2020
October has already been an incredible decade. Yesterday's Star Tribune newspaper headline was astounding.
Maybe
people are just numb to how wrong this is. It's a corruption of
everything that should be. And because Bizarro-Bozo is in the White
House, we are expected to ignore 83 degrees in Minnesota's October and
more significantly that September 2020 was the hottest on record.
Climate
change should be the number one issue, with the Covid-19 pandemic a
close second. Instead we have to salmon our way past voter suppression
to make voting count, while ignoring the circus sideshow...
The
week's best sideshow of a sideshow comes from the freakishly robotic
Michael Pence of Indiana and his excrement loving fly. The fly landed
on Pence's head during the Harris v. Pence Vice Presidential debate. I
didn't watch the debate, but the fly garnered all sorts of attention.
The National Bobblehead Museum
in Wisconsin is selling the Mike Pence and Fly bobblehead set, complete
with Plexiglass shield and mini-flyswatter. Not to be outdone, the
Biden-Harris campaign store sold out of the Truth Over Flies flyswatter after selling 35,000 flyswatters for $10.
Music Association: Frank Sinatra - Fly With Me
October Surprise
The Trump Virus
What Is It?
How Did He Get It?
October 2, 2020
President
Trump announced his first positive test late yesterday. It was the
first case of someone catching a hoax. His first symptom was a lack
of taste.
Trump is high risk due to being elderly, obese, and
low-income. But he has quality, government-sponsored health care
despite wanting to take health care away from others during the
pandemic.
And he is most at risk to a Covid-19 lie now after
having failed to debate former Vice President Joe Biden on Tuesday and
having the bone-spurs that kept him from serving in Vietnam.
It is what it is.
Music Association: Rod Stewart - Tonight's The NightStay away from debate
Stay away from the campaign trail
Disconnect your Twitter feed
Turn off Fox Newsortainment too
Take off the orange skin crap
Unknot your $70,000 hair cap
You'd be a fool to meet Joe again
Just lay in bed and take a nap
Cause Trump has Coronavirus
Time to use all the idiotic cures
That you've been blabbing about
for more than six months now
Maybe you'll get some pitiful votes
Maybe the news will write positive notes
Maybe you'll win and stay out of jail
But Donnie this ploy will probably fail
Cause Trump has Coronavirus
Time to use all the idiotic cures
That you've been blabbing about
for more than six months now
Cause Trump has Coronavirus
He can't win another debate
With all the voter suppression
There ain't no stopping him for four more years vote!
George Floyd
Covid-19
Trump
Timeline (PDF)
Voter
Suppression
Music
Videos
Landmine
Hopscotch
Superman
Impact
Investing
Holiday
Gifs of Cats and Kittens Part 1
Part 2
Part
3 Part
4 Part
5
Southdale
Hennepin Library,
Edina
Library 
Wonder
Woman
Food
Fraud
