The Meek Inherited the Earth
"if that's OK with the rest of you"
December 31, 2008

War, global warming, recession, foreclosure, bankruptcy, and bad weather has led to the meek inheriting the Earth, without extensive litigation, although estate attorneys are claiming 40% of the Earth. The powers that be reviewed the current world situation, gave it a rating of "stinky," and decided enough is enough.

A representative for the meek released the following statement:
We, or I and anyone else who is meek we really don't normally identify ourselves as meek or have regular meetings or club dues or anything, really intend to take good care of the Earth, if that's okay with the rest of you. It's not that we don't already take good care of the Earth already, but when a bagger asks us "paper or plastic" how can we tell them that we think they are both wrong answers? We would just rather take off our coat and lay it out and bundle everything in our coat, but then... how will they know we paid for everything? And won't we get cold without a coat? I mean if we had all the answers, we would have accepted ownership a long time ago.

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Vikings Win!
Clinch the NFC-North Division Championship
December 28, 2008

The Minnesota Vikings squeak a 20-19 win over the New York Giants at the Metrodome today.

The Giants, already having a playoff berth, didn't need to actually show up in Minneapolis, but Eli Manning played a fair part of the game, and the Giants overall didn't make the win too easy on the Vikings.

This is the first division win for the Vikings since 2000.

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So the Wise Men (snicker, snicker) Saw the Star in the East
and Went West Because They Saw the Star in the East...
December 25, 2008

Christ was born under the star, you know, the Star of Bethlehem. Wise men came from the east and went west because they saw the star in the east  (Matthew 2). Mapquest has given that kind of directions to me, too. The star may have been a meteor or supernova or a comet or a planet or a conjunction of planets...

Normal stars, even supernova, arc from east to west across the night sky as the Earth spins, or northernmost stars make circles in the north.  Meteors are too fast. Comets were astrological harbingers of doom. A comet or a  supernova would have been obvious to Herod and recorded by the Chinese.

The wise men came from the "east," translated from the Greek word "anatoli" which means east, after having seen the star in the "east," translated from the Greek word  "anatolae" which means east or the helical rising -- where the sun comes up.

The only stars that show up in the helical rising are planets. There is often a planet in the helical rising. It's less often when there are two. Of course, it's even more rare to have three, and even more rare to have them appear in a particular sign of the zodiac.

In 1604  Johannes Kepler was interested in a particular conjunction of planets, the conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn in  Pisces. Pisces was the sign of Judea. Jupiter was the star of a king. Saturn was the star of time or the messiah or something. And the wise men were Jewish astrologers in Babylon.

A triple conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn occurred in Pisces in 7 BCE.

Here's some pros & cons of Jupiter & Saturn in fish as the Star of Bethlehem in 7 BCE. And here's a story of a different conjunction in 2 BCE.

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The Story of Christmas
December 24, 2008

Mistletoe was the symbol of peace and harmony, so the Druids burned it. That makes sense. Winter traditions of mistletoe date back to the Druids of Britain in the 2nd century BCE. Christmas is an evolving holiday that started with the hotdish mixture of the birth of Christ mixed with the traditions of a handful of other cultures.

Xmas, as an abbreviation of Christmas, began with the Greeks in the early Christian church, X being the first letter of the Greek word for Christ, Xristos. Santa Claus was originally from the Turkish town of Lycia in the 4th century. The Christmas tree was a German custom from the 8th century. Advent began with the forty days of St. Martin and dropped down to twelve days in the 12th century. The nativity scene originated with St. Francis in Assisi, Italy in 1220.  "A Visit From St. Nick" (T'was the Night Before Christmas) by Clement Moore added to the Christmas lore in 1822. Poinsettias originated in Mexico and became part of Christmas in 1828. The first preprinted Christmas cards were printed in England in 1843, the same year as "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. The look of Santa Claus took shape with drawings by Thomas Nast in 1863. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was created by the marketing department of Montgomery Wards in 1939.

And Christmas is when Christ was born, except that Christ wasn't born on December 25th.

The December 25th date came from a rival to Christianity, either Saturnalia or Mithraism. Saturnalia celebrated Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, "the birth of the unconquered sun." Mithraism celebrated both the feast of the Saturnalia and the birthday of Mithra. The early Christian church was celebrating the nativity on December 25th by 354 AD.

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T'was the Day Before the Day Before Christmas
December 23, 2008

It's the Antepenultimate Day of Christmas! Around our house that means antepenultimate gifts -- "It was the third to the last one in the store!" Songs are sung once - too many times. The antepenultimate feast is composed of food that has already been leftovers, and everyone has to have seconds, twice.

So let me be the first to wish you a Joyous Antepenultimate Day. It's the day that counts before Christmas.

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Fighting for Peace on Earth  (Peace on Earth part 5)
December 21, 2008

Peace on Earth is something everyone wants, but no one wants to fight for.

It doesn't make much sense to fight for Peace on Earth, but if Peace on Earth matters, shouldn't something be done to achieve it? Eisenhower called for "an alert and knowledgeable citizenry" to balance the machinery of defense with peaceful methods and goals. That's not exactly Peace on Earth, but maybe it's close.

How do you get Peace on Earth? You argue for it. You listen to those arguing for it. You work on it. You work on the alternatives. You delay war. You help a president accept a Johnson-Bush and move on. When economists say that war is good for the economy, you tell them they are confusing war with plundering. You talk the military-industrial complex out of the push for war, as an employee or a stockholder or as a concerned citizen. You promote facts over propaganda. And you emphasize that you can be a patriot and can stand for peace.

Losing the War on Peace  (Peace on Earth part 4)
December 20, 2008

Presidents Lyndon Johnson (D) and George W. Bush (R) were both afraid of losing their quagmire-like, civil-guerrilla wars during their presidencies. There should be a word for that, a Johnson-Bush. A Johnson-Bush is a president who will keep fighting a pointless, goal-less war that cannot be won... which couldn't bother the military-industrial complex, since a long-term, goal-less war is a treasure chest to them.

Presidential ego is a barrier to peace. The president is afraid of being remembered for losing a war. In the case of Johnson, it's weirder because he was afraid of losing the Vietnam War, and he was afraid of winning the war. He was afraid of it escalating into a nuclear confrontation against the Soviet Union and China.

Economists say that war is good for the economy. Economists get a lot of things wrong like that. War is not good for an economy or its people. Wars like the Iraq War II increase the national debt at a staggering rate to fund the military-industrial complex. Which makes you wonder, why have a war at all? Why not just funnel money to the military-industrial complex without a war? Well, someone might reply that there needs to be a reason... like the reasons for the Iraq War II. If anyone ever says that "war is good for the economy," the correct response is "no, pillaging and plundering are good for the economy."

War is where people lose.

War on Earth? (Peace on Earth part 3)
December 19, 2008

The world first faced the prospects of all-out nuclear armageddon during the Eisenhower administration. But when he left office, President Eisenhower didn't warn the country about that. He warned the country about the military-industrial complex, saying "We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist... Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together."  YouTube

War costs lives, liberties, security, and money. Lots of money. People could get rich on war.

How much money, annually? China spends $65 billion (2nd highest). Russia spends $50 billion (3rd highest). France spends $45 billion (4th highest). The world spends $500 billion, not counting the U.S. The United States spends $650 billion. And the $650 billion disappears quickly. We haven't been the alert citizenry that Eisenhower wanted us to be.
Thousands of companies profit on military spending. Here are the most expensive U.S. contractors:

Lockheed Martin, Bethesda, MD Boeing, Chicago, IL Northrop Grumman, Los Angeles, CA General Dynamics, Falls Church, VA Raytheon, Waltham, MA KBR - Haliburton, Houston, TX L-3 Communications, New York, NY United Technologies, Hartford, CT BAE Systems, Farnborough, England SAIC, San Diego, CA

$27 B $20 B $16 B $11 B $10 B $  6 B $  5 B $  4 B $  4 B $  3 B

F-16 & F-22 fighter jets, Hellfire missiles F-15 fighter jets aircraft carriers, nuclear submarines, B-2 bomber combat vehicles, guns, ammunition, nuclear subs guided missiles (world's largest producer) Iraq bases surveillance & reconnaissance machinery Blackhawk helicopter, missile systems Typhoon & Harrier fighters, aircraft carriers * information services -- WMD claims in Iraq

Who doesn't want Peace on Earth?   (Peace on Earth continues above.)

Everything  (Peace on Earth part 1) December 16, 2008 If I could give you everything you want, happiness - entertainment - comfort - nourishment, I would. But you would still ask for more. I know I would. I want Peace on Earth. Peace on Earth is a request by many people this time of year. Strangely enough, stores don't carry it. Coupons aren't available. Peace on Earth is not on eBay or Amazon. How do you get it? Peace on Earth is like shoveling a parking lot of snow. It's a big task, that could use some help... or at least some heavy machinery. Let's make this clear. Peace on Earth is the absence of war. If there is no war, congratulations, you've got Peace on Earth. Wouldn't that be great? I don't hear everyone agreeing. Unlike shoveling a parking lot full of snow, which could be done with a pickup truck and a front-end plow, Peace on Earth needs people power. People make war. Guns and missiles and protective shields don't make war (we'll get back to them). People decide to go to war and fight and kill. And the reasons are basic, negative emotions -- hate, fear, revenge, and greed. The strongest of these reasons is greed. The reasons can be covered up by religion, but no major religion is based on hate, fear, revenge, or greed. Religions are better than that. Or they should be. The reasons are covered up by defense, which also should be better than war, but the most effective defense is a good offense.  That makes offense and defense functionally the same thing, despite the fact that countries don't have a Department of Offense. And the reasons for war are covered up by words. War is sugar-coated in words and propaganda. Words can rally up the basic, negative emotions in people, outshouting Wellstone-like cries for peace. Words can veil realities in generalizations, stereotypes, over simplifications, and foregone conclusions. (Peace on Earth continues in the next column.)

Peace on Earth (Peace on Earth part 2) December 18, 2008 Wars cannot be fought to end war. You cannot have a "War to end all wars" or a "War on terror" or even a "War on wars." It's all still part of the proliferation of war. Fighting will not stop war. The exception, of course, is nuclear annihilation, which would kill everyone and most everything. The cemeteries are full; we cannot fight. That's one way to get Peace on Earth, but not the way most people want. Too often, people fight wars because war is thought to be their only hope. That's nuts. War is a hell, not a hope. But people think that they do not have other choices. There are always possibilities. There are always alternatives. Alternatives include negotiation, mediation, separation, trade, embargo, agreements, nonviolent protests, listening, talking, respect, assistance, delay, and time. Another alternative, probably the easiest to request and the toughest to grant, is forgiveness. None of the alternatives are easy, but then neither is war. In war, a big bad bully of a nation can pick on a much smaller, weaker nation because the battle is thought to be easy. But then an alliance of nations can form overnight to defend the weaker nation. There are no easy wars, and there are no clean wars. Innocent people get hurt and killed in war. Getting to Peace on Earth means stopping war and preventing war. If war is the escalation of negative emotions, it is easier to consider the alternatives to war before the first shots are fired. Wars are preceded by failed alternatives. There can be architects for peace. War only has demolition experts with new weapons that will better distinguish the enemy from the innocent, which was the justification for all previous weapons. The weapons for war are always advancing. That's one way of looking at it. Another way is that the weapons of war are always making their way to the other side. Weapons inventors are always creating their weapons for both sides whether they know it or not. (Peace on Earth continues above.)

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Kermit Was Wrong
December 15, 2008

I saw a calendar with 365 ways of living green with a page a day of green tips. It was sealed in plastic, so I couldn't check, but I am positive that the tip for December 31st is, "Don't buy daily calendars."

The way I see it, Kermit was wrong. It's easy being green. It's not about lists. It's about examining the things you do and make changes to decrease your carbon footprint. Incremental steps help.

An example of incremental steps is that electric lawn mowers are better than gas powered lawn mowers, push reel mowers are better than electric, and having trees is better for the environment than a lawn.

Trees >
          Reel mower >
                              Electric mower >
                                                      Gas mower

Reading about how to have a green Christmas, I was stunned that the author suggested donating your artificial tree in order to upgrade to a real tree, which stunned me. If you already have an artificial tree, what is the environmental harm of keeping it?

Incandescent Christmas lights on the other hand should be phased out as quickly as possible in favor of LED lights, since LED lights use a fraction of the power of incandescent lights and don't heat up like incandescent bulbs. And there are solar powered LED Christmas lights.

Of course, people used to put lit candles on dead pine trees, and you might think that would be preferable to all these plastic solutions, until the house burns down. Burning houses leave big carbon footprints.

Candles >
Solar LED lights >
                          LED lights >
                                           Incandescent lights

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Tag, You're It
December 13, 2008

Kittens have a sophisticated way of fighting. One of them is usually acting oblivious, while the other one starts to crouch and stalk. The tail twitches. Take a step. Observe. Take another step. Dash-leap-pounce-tag. Walk away.

It's like an endless game of tag (also, one of my descriptions of marriage). The fur gets a little fluffed, but otherwise there is no harm done. It's fighting without the fight. If only war could be like that.

(My kittens meet all the requirements of small business defense contractors, DoD-CCR-SBA081213TnS2.)

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Perpetual Reindeer Games
December 9, 2008

Scientists stuck in northernmost Norway's winter have learned something about reindeer -- they don't care what time it is. The perpetual twilight makes it easy for reindeer to eat and sleep and play their games whenever they feel like it, while scientists shiver and try to take notes while wearing gloves the size of basketballs.

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Santa Claus Is Running Through Town
December 7, 2008

"I am Santa," one man proclaims. "I am Santa," a woman says. "Bark, bark-bark," a dog says. The Santa Run ran through downtown Minneapolis to raise money for the legal defense fund of... Santa?




Yes, apparently Santa Claus, aka Saint Nick, aka Kris Kringle, has run into some legal troubles, has applied for bailout money, but does not qualify as he leads a small operation... no offense meant to the elves or the eight tiny reindeer.

Minnesota lawyers put on red suits and dreidels and ran down Nicollet Mall to help out Santa. Oddly enough, the dreidels didn't spin, but they always landed on top.

Everybody say, "Ho."

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Scout on Point -- A Book Review
December 4, 2008

Several months ago I tried an experiment on my kittens, Tony and Scout. I'm a very calm, rational person, but out of the blue and out of character, my eyes got wide and my mouth gaped, and I looked around as though I was worried about everything. I didn't even know if the kittens were watching me, but they freaked.

It taught me that they learn from me more than I think they do. And I think it taught Scout how to act. Like a horror movie actress, Scout will suddenly get wide-eyed, look around, and then move slowly out of the room, slow enough for the imagination to wonder what sort of hideously drooling monster could be waiting in the next room to seize the fluffy little cat...

She turns to look at me. It's like in the movie Young Frankenstein, where Igor says, "Wait, Master, it could be dangerous. You go first." She turns back. Painfully slowly she creeps out the room, step by agonizing step, fur standing on end. And right when the monster should lunge for her--

She turns back, as if to say, "False alarm."

A friend of mine, Rick Butler, is the Minnesota author of a book titled Point. I only met him once, but I consider him a friend. His novel is the antithesis of my novel. My story is funny and odd and positively fiction. His story is the mildly altered account of his life on point as an American paratrooper in the Vietnam War. Point means walking ahead of everyone else -- clearing a path, identifying traps, and discovering the enemy before they discover you -- then linking back up with the fire team, then the squad, the platoon, and the company.

Rick's book does not sugar-coat the war. It's not a fun read. What it does is it helps people who have never had combat experience to understand what it's like. Combat soldiers will be coming back from Iraq soon. Reading this book and getting a glimpse of the constant freaking out could help people to understand those that have been in combat.

Point - A Paratrooper's Memoirs of Vietnam by Rick Butler

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Recession and Happiness Announced; Craziness Too
December 2, 2008

The recession, the one that has been going on for over 12 months, has just been declared by the National Bureau of Economic Research. A recession is a significant decline, spread over the entire economy, marked by rising unemployment and falling production and investment. The NBER (pronounced na-BEER!) just noticed. They also report in the December 2008 NBER Digest that happiness is much more evenly distributed than it has been in the past thirty years.

I'm happy to hear that. Hope and love are doing fine too. Craziness has always done well for itself.

I know a married couple... I've been friends with them for years and years. I confide in them, and they confide in me. And up until now, there hasn't been a problem. Despite NBER just noticing yesterday, times have been tough for a while. The couple (we'll call them Hank and Maggie O'Enries) aren't doing so well, but they are still filled with love and hope. Maggie never stops talking about how she would do anything for Hank, and he would do anything for her. And you know, that's great... except that they're driving me crazy.

You need to understand that Maggie is queen of all games PlayStation. Hank is king of the Xbox. Both game consoles have seen a fair amount of wear and tear. Despite Maggie's love for her PlayStation, she plans to sell it for a game for Hank's Xbox as a Christmas present for him.

And that would be fine, except that he was already planning to sell his Xbox for a Playstation game for her for Christmas.

On the one hand, I think this is all very sweet, and I shouldn't interfere, and I should let it all happen. On the other hand, I shouldn't let them do stupid stuff, like selling their used game consoles, when they will never get as much as they would need to buy a new one again. And on the third hand, they're probably just messing with my mind. I should tell them to go back to playing their normal reindeer games and leave me out of their craziness. So I've written this for all the crazy people out there and especially to the O'Enries... let's put the craziness in a recession, okay?

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The Sky Smiles on Australia; Turns Upside Down for U.S.
December 1, 2008

Jupiter, Venus, and the crescent Moon are appearing together in an astrological smiley face in the night sky over Australia. The trio are scheduled to appear over the United States tonight in a frown.

This is not meant as a political statement in any way. Not necessarily. You can take it however you want to take it.

After today-tonight, the astro trio will split up and go their separate ways, until 2052.
(The 2052 conjunction is not currently scheduled on the Twin Cities Calendar.)

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What Kind of Nut?!?
November 23, 2008

True Comprehensive Care means maintaining life.

Life is a balancing act between maintenance and growth. Maintenance is eating and sleeping and other daily rituals -- taking care of life. Growth is the stuff that makes life great -- taking risks, being more than what we were. And that's the problem with true comprehensive care; it gets in the way of the fun stuff. So people don't want true comprehensive care, they want a quick fix -- a pain killer style of management. And maybe they need that.

I personally qualify for the Health Nut Journal, the Health Nut 10% discount, and have a continuous nomination for the prestigous Health Nut of the Year award, except for one thing. I'm not a health nut.

I know all the health nut things to do and am familiar with the lingo and acknowledgements. I will drop all of that like a rock (contains essential minerals) when I have other goals and priorities that interfere. If I'm doing something important and there is no food other than junk food, I may eat junk food. Or go without. My other goals and priorities can override my comprehensive health care.

There goes the award. Again.

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Authority
November 21, 2008

The nation's leading authority on my health is me. I'm not a doctor. I don't play one on TV, so I have to apply extra caution in evaluating information through thorough research, fact checking, and analysis.

Take for example the recent story about a "new pain-inducing Advil created for people who just want to feel something, anything." I am all for that, except that I go for years without taking even an aspirin and more than a dozen years since I last had Novocaine. If I feel pain, I want to figure out the cause and find a cure, not cover it up. But that particular story came from The Onion, which also does not play doctors on TV, even on cable. So while the story is worth reading and I was astonished to read about Tylenol Maximum Suffering, it is not worth running out and pestering your pharmacist. Because pain-inducing Advil and Tylenol Maximum Suffering might not be real; they might be placebos. A recent Wall Street Journal article quotes a National Institutes of Health survey that one in two American doctors prescribe placebos and two-thirds believe it is permissible to do so.

I wonder how much placebos cost and what the co-pay is for the doctor visit?

I think I apply a different standard to my health than doctors profess for their patients. The standard I aim at may be more like what doctors aim at for their own health: true comprehensive care...  (to be continued)

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With Bells On
November 18, 2008

The St. Olaf Handbell Choir performed their final 2008 fall concert in Northfield. I struggled not to call everyone I've ever known to say, "You need to be here."

The tones were astounding! The variety was amazing, from somber to rowdy... yeah, I know, rowdy handbells... The rowdiest was easily "Carnivale" by Michael J. Glasgow, with a calliope sound and oodles of odd percussions.

My favorite piece was the wild South African beat of "Khumbula Ubuhle" by Sondra K. Tucker, featuring percussions by Megan Reishus, Martina King, and Jill Mahr. "Until the Day Breathes and the Shadows Flee" by Derek K. Hakes was cool and somber with accents from a bell tree by Megan Reishus and complementary cello plucking by Sarah Gingerich. "Five Inscriptions" by Cathy Moklebust were five reflections of village bells in the Middle Ages. And "Rondo a la Turque" by Mozart featured the competitive bells of Katie Henriksen, Megan Reishus, and Maria Squadroni, in a wild arrangement by David Jordan. Those four pieces were my favorites. And yet...

My favorite use of the the bells was running sticks around the edge, which was introduced as being similar to Tibetan bowls. It sounded to me like Benjamin Franklin's glass armonica, like the ringing of drinking glasses by running your finger around the top edge.

The concert had fantastic range with five octaves of Malmark bells ranging from shotglass sized to big two-gallon bells. I half expected them to lug out a big ol' Liberty bell.

I'm sorry if you missed it, but here's "Pirates of the Caribbean" from 2007.

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Narrator Dies, Readers Continue
November 17, 2008

If  you happen to be reading along in my novel and the narrator dies... keep reading. It had to happen; anything else wouldn't have been true to the characters.

Some people say that novels are just autobiographies in disguise. I hope not. Hang on, while I check my pulse. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-badda-thump-thump. Thump-thump. Yes, the heart is still beating in its own special way. Obviously, some people generalize too much.

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Doctor, Doctor, Give me the news...
November 15, 2008

A doctor sees the final patient of a long day. The patient says, "It hurts when I touch here." The doctor says, "Then don't touch there."

But the patient continues, "It hurts to touch -- here, here, and Here!" The doctor looks and says, "Your finger is broken."

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Who has more Patience: Doctors or Patients?
November 13, 2008

I feel sorry for doctors. They have to explain symptoms of obvious problems to their patients. Nobody goes to a mechanic with a smashed-up car and asks, "Why doesn't this light work?" Well, you smashed-up your car. "Yes, but why is it making all these funny noises?" Well you know you smashed-up your car. "Oh I forgot to mention--" Do I need to remind you that you smashed up your car?

People tease doctors for poor penmanship, but did anyone ever explain how it got that way?

Doctors start out with normal, legible writing. But the patients stream by saying, "I'm not here about my smoking" or "I'm not here about my weight problem" or "I'm not here about my bungie jumping" or anything else that they don't want to hear lectures on, and the doctors' nerves are shattered until they couldn't possibly draw a straight line... even with two rulers.

At sobriety checkpoints, the cops ask the drivers if they are doctors. If so, they are let go. It may be due to an inability to walk a straight line, I don't know.

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Sale

November 7, 2008

The holiday sales have started. The Twin Cities Calendar for November has links & coupon codes for 10-15% off at Barnes & Noble .com starting right now and lasting through November 16th

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Eye Rock
October 27, 2008
I was at a Rock Show recently. The music wasn't that hot, but the rock was metamorphic!

Staring at different varieties of rock, I stopped when one of them stared back. It looked like an eye... a big eye... over three inches long.  I picked it up and looked it over. It looked me over.

The price of this eye was $2. The old woman behind the table couldn't see how I could want such a rock, but I bought it. I asked her if she knew what type of rock it was, but she said she didn't know and shooshed me away.

Talking with a rock showman, he confirmed that it was an agate and seeing the sticker price, he confirmed that I got a great deal.

My concern is about the attitude of the old woman. She acted as though the rock was bad luck.

Hardly. I don't believe in luck. Probabilities? Yes. Odds? Certainly. Luck? No.

Besides, the Internet says that agates are a source of good fortune. They prevent insomnia, cure skin diseases, enhance creativity, divert dangerous storms, increase concentration, help truthfulness, improve TV programming...

Okay, it didn't say anything about TV programming.

If there is such a thing as luck, I make my own and I'm the luckiest guy I know. But the rock is neither good luck nor bad luck and staring at me won't make me change my mind.

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Halloween Masks Still Available
Area halloween masks may be moist inside from
being tried on by too many people; store workers

October 25, 2008
Party stores, magic shops, and discount stores report a deep stock of halloween costumes, although "the stock is dropping," said one clerk through a mask that she still intends to sell. "Mumble mutter mumble mumble," she continued through the mask while bumping headlong into a display of styrofoam skulls.

Talk radio host masks are still not selling well at all.

One clerk explained through an unrecognizable mask, "Mumble mumble mumble mutter mumble."

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Blueberry Frost
October 21, 2008
Minnesota leaves are painted firey reds and oranges and yellows. The maple trees show off the most color, but sumac bushes also show their fire.

Here are some red blueberry leaves with frost after a very fruitful year of blueberries.

This week's guest password is SWORDFISH without the word.

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Voting Is Easy

October 19, 2008
Minnesota makes voting easy. If you have never voted or even registered, all you have to do is go to your polling place with some identification, and you can vote. To vote, you use a pen. Nothing could be simpler. There are also alternatives for people with disabilities, such as AutoMark.

1. Find your polling location
2. Go there on Tuesday, November 4, 2008 between 7am - 8pm
3. If you're registered - show them your driver's license or other identification
4. They'll find you on a list and either mark you off or have you sign it
5. They'll give you a ballot in a paper sleeve
6. In a private booth, you fill in the boxes next to your choices on the ballot
7. Slide the ballot into a scanning machine & return the sleeve
It's easy!  Plus, here's some Candidate information and other resources

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Electricians Shocked By All The Attention On Plumbers

October 16, 2008
Three out of every four electricians surveyed after last night's presidential debate were surprised by the amount of coverage plumbers were receiving. "Without power, they couldn't have even had a debate," said Elle the electrician. Then after a pause she quietly added, "Well, there would've been a debate... sure... but no one would've seen it."

Political cartoons
more cartoons, more cartoons, & still more cartoons

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Stuck on Seriousness
October 15, 2008
Hopefully I'll stop being so serious soon, but in the meantime last night's Frontline: The Choice presented historical portraits of the presidential candidates, Barack Obama and John McCain. I missed part of it, but the whole program is on YouTube and at PBS Frontline.  
Vikings 30, Saints 27
October 6, 2008 
Great game. The score was repeatedly tied throughout it.

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Background of the Bang
September 23, 2008
Go to almost any movie theater, almost any day of the year, and you'll have nearly any seat available. But a lecture on theoretical astrophysics? Theoretical astrophyics fills every seat plus about fifty people choosing to stand for over two hours. The lecture in Physics Hall at the University of Minnesota was called "Finding the Big Bang." I went because I didn't know it was missing.

With a voice that cracked like an adolescent, Jim Peebles took the crowd through a mixture of the 20th century history of the big bang theory, an explanation of the way the theory exists today, and a slideshow of the characters that have blazed the trail. He was dynamic and thoroughly enjoys this subject, without really discussing his contribution of the primordial isocurvature baryon model. I think he summed up the status of the Big Bang when he said, "We are making deep progress while being totally bewildered."

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Vikings 20, Panthers 10
September 21, 2008
The mood at tailgating was moody. The weather was perfect -- sunny, temperatures in the high 70s.

The expectations were low. Many of the tailgaters come better prepared than the Minnesota Vikings have at recent games. And the tailgaters prepare to have fun no matter what.

And it was fun. Until...

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Today I was indirectly attacked through my closet. That's where I keep all my stuff. Unprovoked and without warning, my closet was hit by a harsh case of the gravities. The gravities pulled everything down and squished it in a pile. The bad news is that the organization is shot. The good news is that I've got way more room for stuff. The gravities left a cavity. I've got to call my dentist, "I've got this huge cavity... in my closet."

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The 35W Bridge reopened on September 18th at 5am. There was much celebration.             Yeah!

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Harness Synergistic Infrastructures and Streamline Frictionless Web-readiness are easy to envision when you have this handy tool from Dack Ragus of Edina.

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I'm reading a book titled "The Pleasure of Finding Things Out," written by a late, great physicist, Richard Feynman.  He says that what is "so unusual about good scientists is that while they're doing whatever they're doing, they're not so sure of themselves as others are. They can live with steady doubt, think 'maybe it's so' and act on that, all the time knowing it's only a 'maybe.'"

To me, that's the flipside of learning.

Once you know it all, learning stops. There isn't anything else to learn.

I can't imagine knowing it all. The more I learn, the more I realize I have yet to learn.

Hearing that could really frustrate a grade schooler. Kids would ask, "Then what's the point of learning, if you can't know it all?"

The answer is in Doubt-Part 2.

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